David Lightburn

This is a story about Snickers and how it’s kept us happily married for 20 years.

Before I set the scene, you should know that my wife is one of the sweetest people alive. 

We were newly married and whenever she went on a grocery run she’d come back with a “happy” – a little treat. It was her way of showing love and injecting some delight into my day. So sweet, right?

Well, one dark day, things went horribly, horribly wrong. 

Instead of a Peppermint Patty or a Three Musketeers, she brought home a…Snickers. 

Ewww

She didn’t know this at the time, but I didn’t really like Snickers. I mean they’re fiiiine, but there are so many better options out there in the candiverse. I wasn’t worried though. It’s the thought that counts, right? I gladly accepted the Snickers with a smile.

A week later there was another trip to the store that resulted in another happy…Reaching into the bag revealed…another Snickers. 

Whaaaaat?

Confused and a little irritated, I thanked her with a kiss on the check and went upstairs to figure out what to do with this nutty monstrosity (the Snickers, not my wife). 

It was starting to be concerning. What was leading my wife to make such bad life decisions?

Another week, another grocery run. “I got you a happy”, she said. 

I steeled myself. I threw open the Kroger shopping bag and there it was – taunting me. 

“Another Snickers, huh?”

“Yep!”

“Ah, greeaaat. Thank you!”

This was getting out of hand. Would I be doomed to a lifetime of peanuts and nougat?

Normally, this would have been an easy conversation, but it’s just that she was SO excited to give me the Snickers each time. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. We were newly married! I didn’t have it in me to douse her excitement, did I? Plus, she was being really generous and thoughtful. What kind of terrible husband complains about something like this?

Well, after the fourth Snickers, I knew I had to say something. I couldn’t let this continue. What if I said nothing? I imagined being happily married for 50 years. After being given a Snickers for the thousandth time, I’d just snap. 

“I never loved those Sniiiiiickerssss!” 

Dramatic? Perhaps. But it did motivate me to have a conversation the next day. It wasn’t an easy one and while I definitely could have done it better, the marriage framework we developed that day has lasted years.

In our home, this framework is now known as the Snickers Theory. If there’s something bothering you, tell the other person. Don’t let it fester. Don’t let resentment seep in. It’s far better to have a semi-tough conversation now rather than letting resentment (and nougat) build up. 

I can’t say the Snickers Theory is the sole reason for us being happily married for 20 years, but then again, I can’t disprove it either. What’s your Snickers Theory?